“I Need Love” – the least romantic song of all time?

I love old-school L.L. Cool J, but man, this has to be the opposite of a love song.  Who could possibly be wooed by these words?

But where you at?  You’re neither here or there.
I swear I can’t find you anywhere.
Damn sure you ain’t in my closet, or under my rug.
This love search is really making me bug!

I wonder if L.L. actually ever told a girl he wanted something “clean and unsoiled, yet sweaty and wet?”

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