Every Peter song ever from the Monkees

Folks often give Mike Nesmith the role of their “favorite Monkee,” and, you know, whatever. He’s good.

But so is Peter Tork! Just because he doesn’t always sing in tune doesn’t mean he’s not one of the two Monkees who actually was a musician, not an actor, prior to the The Monkees airing. Wikipedia calls him a “skilled multi-instrumentalist!” And it says that despite being the “dumb” one on the show, he was “actually a quiet intellectual!”

And that’s good enough for me!

Though they forgot to mention that he was a stone cold fox

Peter Tork

I mean, goddam, here’s a picture of Peter Tork with a puppy. And you know who the cute one is? PETER FUCKING TORK!

Peter Tork

Peter Tork is so hot, he makes hot women look even hotter just by standing next to him! (Or sitting next to him on a kaftan at the Renaissance Faire.)

Peter Tork Hot Woman

I mean … oh my fucking GOD! Just fuck me right now, Peter Tork! 

Peter Tork oh my god

Peter Tork is even cute when he’s doing the whole hipster racism thing!

Peter Tork Headdress

Would I ever be willing to become a Furry? For Peter Tork, I would!

Peter Tork furry

Peter Tork is even cute when he looks like Charles Manson!

PeterTorkManson

… or like a post-Islam Cat Stevens!

PeterTorkIsCatStevens
“What’s that, Peter Tork? Salman Rushdie should be killed? Yes yes YES!”

He even looked cute later in his dumb-ass blues band!

ShoeSuedeBlues

I’m not saying I would just go out and fuck the senior citizen version of Peter Tork exactly…

tork-peter-image

but let’s say I was turning tricks in Santa Monica…

and THIS version of Peter Tork came over to me…

and he kind of cupped one of by butt cheeks in his hand, and asked if he could pay me to let him cum on my chest…

I’d say “Oh yes! And coat my balls too!”

“Hey, buddy, I was just cruising down the Santa Monica bike path to go pick up some brightly colored socks to wear with my Birkenstocks and I saw you right over there…

petertorkgoofy

… and I thought to myself ‘hey, I think it’d be pretty groovy to fuck that guy’  I mean, are you into it? Whaddaya think? Can you dig it?”

“DO IT, PETER TORK! MAKE ME SCREAM FOR ‘AUNTIE GRIZELDA!'”

Anyway, to celebrate this very lovely and talented man, I’ve made a playlist of every single Peter Tork Monkees song. That’s every Monkees song Peter Tork ever wrote, sang, or at least has a little nugget in where you can say “I love this Peter part!”

Enjoy! And let me know in the comments if there even one single Peter Tork Monkees song I missed!

D. M. Collins

D. M. Collins is a journalist and writer based in Los Angeles.

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