What are ten interesting facts about me?

  • I was an extra in Weird Al’s movie, UHF.
  • I can put 100 clothespins on my face.
  • As a kid, I was accidentally at Tiananmen Square the first day of the Chinese Student Protests. I was 12 years old, on top of that big wall with Mao’s portrait on it, and me and my folks were waiting there to see Gorbachev’s motorcade drive by. He never made it, and then the guards kicked us off the wall when things started to get crowded in the square. They actually used the photo I took with my portable camera in the Tulsa World.
  • I know how to repair autoharps, as well as extinct zither-based instruments such as the mandolin harp and Guitaro, and I’m fairly good at playing them.
  • As a journalist I’ve gotten to interview tons of famous folks, mostly musicians, including the Sonics, Duane Eddy, Public Enemy, Daryl Hall, Steve Martin, the Trashmen, Big Daddy Kane, Keith Levine, Twink, Ty Segall, Primal Scream, At the Gates, Tim Heidecker, the Mummies, Flying Lotus, the Brian Jonestown Massacre, Jello Biafra, Deepak Chopra, and Nicholas Sparks, to name a few. I even got to interview Tony Clifton, though I have no idea who was playing him under all the makeup.
  • I briefly hosted a TV segment called “SoCal’s Finest” for Time Warner Cable.
  • I once hosted an orgy that was also a poetry reading.
  • I had a yard sale a few years ago that was also a poetry reading. And almost as a fluke, I arranged for both Open Mike Eagle and John S. Hall (the guy from King Missile, who sang “Detachable Penis”) to perform on the same bill as it were. That was pretty fun. Open Mike Eagle’s kid danced while wearing a Spiderman costume.
  • The other day I spontaneously composed and recorded an Italian Futurist poem, probably based on a DMT experience.
  • I was in a psychedelic bubblegum band that played on the same stage as a lot of comedians who later got pretty big. Still waiting for my big break!
D. M. Collins

D. M. Collins is a journalist and writer based in Los Angeles.

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